What Christmas means to me

Meant to send this to my husband...but never had the time!

The joy in Christmas for me has always been in the gifts. Buying them, wrapping them, watching you guys unwrap them, and of course, unwrapping my own. When it's all over, the only part of Christmas I keep with me is the limited amount of time that I actually use the gifts. And, as you know, that is very limited. This year,I realized I've been doing it wrong. Yes, watching Karly unwrap gifts makes me feel good. But, it never last. In fact, I am usually upset with her when she isn't enjoying all the news things we "spent so much money on". As I write that, I realize how ridiculous that sounds. Christmas has nothing to do with the amount of money we spend on gifts. It's not about a Christmas tree. Or about decorating the house. Christmas is about appreciating that Jesus died to save us from, well, ourselves. And. as if that wasn't enough. he, from the day we were born has continued to watch over us. To protect us. To heal us. To comfort us. I've been trying to fill my Christmas with things I buy at Walmart and Target. And, I've missed that my gifts are already at home. I didn't have to buy them. Jesus bought them for me when he died on the cross. He bought Karly, and Kira, and Korra. And you. He bought our health. He bought our safety. He bought our lives. This year, when Christmas is over, I won't loose the Christmas spirit after my new gift has lost it's sparkle. This year, i will remember and be thankful for Christmas every time I see you and the girls. You guys are my Christmas gifts every day. 

Two hours of sleep!

That's what I managed to sleep today. It is Saturday morning, 1:16a.m. to be exact. I have been awake since 7 a.m. Thursday and I've only had two hours of sleep. That's forty hours of awake time!

 David had a work thing today that lasted way longer than I would of liked. By the time he got home, it was six o'clock and I couldn't make myself fall asleep. Luckily, I managed to get in a two hour nap with the babies, which has helped to sustain me here at work. I am sure the four cups of bold coffee  I drank also helped. The good news is, lunch will be here soon and I'll be able to take a twenty-five minute nap. And, today I also get to leave two hours early. I am looking forward to going to sleep when I get home!

The last two weeks have been killer

And not in, "killer boots" man sense. Ever since I had those four days off for Thanksgiving, I have had a difficult time readjusting to my overnight sleep schedule. In fact, in the last two weeks, I have had about five hours of broken up sleep throughout the day, if I'm lucky. Part of it, is the girl's schedule has been off and I haven't been able to get in my morning nap with them. Part of it, is David has been home more often.And, of course, with the holidays and Kira's birthday coming up, it means I have more to do during the day. This has lead to me being awake until three o'clock in the afternoon most days,when David gets home. By that point, I have been up for nearly 20 hours and to say I am tired would be an understatement. When I do get to sleep at three, I tell myself, I won't get up until nine, but that's hardly ever the case. As exhausted as I am, when I hear the girls screaming downstairs, I am quick to wake. And once I'm awake, there's just no going back to sleep. It's frustrating. But, it's no one's fault. And, by the grace of God, I have managed to maintain my sanity. I know once he holiday season is over, things will go back to normal. Nothing last forever. Everything has it's season.

Speaking of season, Christmas is upon us, but before we can get to that there is the not so little matter of Kira's birthday! Last year, we didn't make a big deal out of her first birthday. She wasn't verbal yet, and didn't really seem to show much of an interest in it. But, this year is a whole different story! She has been excited for weeks. Every time I pull out her birthday decorations she squeals with excitement. She can tell you it's Kira's birthday. She having a Monster's Inc. party, she's eating cake and we are going to sing her happy birthday. It amazes me to see how far her speech has come in the last year. She went from screaming for everything she wanted, to telling David, "Dad, get baby doll", when she wants him to take Korra so she can have a turn nursing. Today, as we started to put up her birthday decorations, I could see her little face getting excited. I am so happy we can celebrate another year of life with her. I am so blessed to be entrusted with the lives of three beautiful beings. There's nothing about my life that can top the feeling of knowing I get to enjoy these little beings for as long as God allows me to be on this Earth. What did I do to deserve such a privilege?

I will end today with three random events from the last couple of weeks....

1. I had a panic attack this week, thought it was a heart atack, so I called 911. Went to the hospital in an ambulance, and freaked David and Karly out. I'm sure I will get a nice little bill in the mail for that episode.

2. Karly was sick last week. Said she had major pain in her shoulders and chest. It was concerning to us, so we took her to the pediatrician. After a twenty minute exam, he was unable to determine what could be causing her( as she called it), excruciating pain. Grasping for straws he asked her if she'd been doing any push ups. "Oh yes", she responded." We've been doing push ups for two days!". (Insert face palm here.)

3.I received the most awesome gift from work today. We were all blessed with an extremely generous Christmas bonus. I had to do a double take to make sure I was seeing the right number of zeros. Man, I love my job!!!